Monday, May 23, 2016

Letters to my daughters

There are things I want you to learn. Things I want you to remember about your relationship with each other and with your parents. So I'm writing these letters to you.

You're learning and growing so quickly. It's amazing to see your little mind at work. You're so smart and sometimes, you use those smarts to be manipulative. Not my favorite thing because I consider that to be one of my worst traits. You have such a unique relationship with your sister. You love her, you care for her, you drive her crazy taking her toys or yanking them back when she takes them from you. You hurt her sometimes but most of the time, you sweetly apologize and offer a hug and she smiles and agrees. You teach her so much -- good and bad.

You ask so many questions. I'm amazed at the things you remember. I would venture to guess that your favorite thing is wearing twirly dresses and singing and dancing around the living room. (I mean, you can actually see the disappointment in your face when you put a dress on and it doesn't twirl) You love when dad comes home and you're always the first to run up and give him a hug (usually because Maddie is still asleep or just doesn't run as fast). I can see how special it is that he has time to play with you and read stories to you (which are just as entertaining for me because your dad never reads the actual words but improvises).

After every bath, you lead your little sister in this weird song/dance in front of the mirror that I don't understand but it's the funniest thing. You're so innocent and honest in your thoughts. You struggled with staying in bed for awhile and after a few weeks of staying in bed, one night you crawled into ours without us knowing it. When I asked you about it the next morning, you said "Well, I stayed in bed and fell asleep and was asleep for TWO HOURS. And then I forgot that I was supposed to stay in bed."

I don't think you're saved yet, but I can see the Lord working in your heart. When you sweetly obey and rejoice over it, I feel my heart burst.

You seem to be learning and growing twice as fast as Allie did at your age. Maybe because you have her as an example and boy, do you ever follow her example. If Allie is wearing a dress today, you'll want to wear a dress. If Allie has a blanket tied around her neck as a cape and is running up and down the halls, you'll be right behind her, cape and all. You're younger so you seem to get your way more. I don't know if you know that you're taking advantage of it. Whenever you share with your sister, you say "Thank you! You're welcome!"

You practice making silly faces and Allie is so entertained by it. You try so hard to recite verses with her and it makes me smile. You LOVE baths so much that if we have to give you guys a quick shower, it's pretty much a guaranteed meltdown from you. You practice scowling and looking surprised. I don't know why but it cracks us up. When you get disciplined, you're so quick to say "Sorry... hug!" I don't know if you understand repentance yet but I love that you always offer hugs.

Sometimes you'll climb up while I'm crocheting or folding laundry and just flounce on me and say "Hug! I wuuuffff yoooouu" and it's my favorite thing. But when it comes to the favorite parent, Dad is wrapped around your little finger. Maybe because I spend all day with you, but when you see him, you come running to give him hugs. And when you sweetly ask for a snack (that Mom doesn't usually give you because it's too close to dinner) Dad will almost always give in (probably because he wants to eat a snack too).

I want to remember how you guys sing a duet to "Let it go" at the top of your lungs. I want to remember how sweetly you'll play with each other. I want to remember how the soundtrack to the Disneyland railroad scares Maddie but Allie will come beside you and say "It's okay Maddie! It's just dinosaurs!" I can't believe you're going to be 2 and 4 but I am so thankful I get to be a part of your lives. I love you more than you will ever know. Maybe someday when you have your own daughters. I don't know what our relationship will be like in the future, but I pray and hope that you will always come to me with your problems and worries and blessings and joys so I can pray with you, rejoice with you, bear your burdens.