Monday, September 26, 2016

Maddie Jane

You are my sensitive one. I know part of it is normal toddler emotions at your age but there's also a sweetness and compassion about you. You always cry when you listen to the Baa Baa Quartet from the Shaun the Sheep movie sing "Feels Like Summer" because you know it's the part where the baby sheep is sad and missing home. When it first happened, I could see you trying to hold it together so I scooped you in my arms and you just cried and kept saying "Baby... Sad... Crying..." I immediately teared up too -- obviously not for the sheep but because I could see compassion in your heart at such a young age.

It's not easy parenting #2. More often than not I lean on Allie because she's older and I require more patience and generosity from her. You are younger so in some ways, you get away with a lot. We're trying hard to curb this but also give you grace, just like we did with Allie.

But still... you get your way. Especially with Dad. One weepy look and he's handing over cookies for breakfast to you and your sister. I cringe to think how you'll use that as teenagers... :D

You look up to Allie in every. Single. Way. And more often than not, it's wanting whatever she has (which I'm sure frustrates her at times). If Allie is going to have pigtails, then that's how you want your hair. If Allie is playing with a play phone, then you want that phone and only that phone. If Allie is acting crazy and wild and bouncing off the walls, then you're right behind her.

Last night at dinner (which admittedly was at 8:30 p.m. so way past your normal dinner time. In fact, way past your bedtime...) you girls were sitting there giggling hysterically at each other. About nothing at all. I love that you're already bonding and building your sister relationship. Even if you drive each other crazy sometimes (like hearing Allie finally announce in frustration "Maddie! Stop following me!"). I gently reminded her that you love her so much (maybe even more than your parents?) and just want to be with her and play with her.

And of course we're in the "my do it" stage. You are such an independent little girl, it's funny/scary to me because I see so much of myself in you.

Things are so crazy in our lives right now. You will soon be removed from the position of youngest. We're moving to a new condo that's mid-renovation in 4 days. We are in the midst of packing our lives for the 4th time in our 6 years as a family and it's chaotic. I'm hoping that there will be a new normal soon. One where we aren't in the middle of a huge transition. With the new place, new baby, new(ish) hometown, new(ish) job for Brian, we've had such a whirlwind year.

And you, sweet girl. Your life is flashing before my eyes. I feel like I can barely remember you as a baby. You're growing so quickly it makes me sad. I just want to squeeze you and kiss you and keep you little forever. But since I can't, I'm going to write you these letters and capture these memories to look back on later. When you've grown so big, you no longer can nuzzle me as I carry you. When you're too old to want to climb up onto my lap just to make silly faces. When you have reached the stage of not needing me to be around, not missing me when I'm gone, not wanting me to be the only one to hold you. *Sigh... I don't look forward to those days so I'll do my best to soak up every moment with you now. <3 br="">