Some days are just harder than others. Some weeks are just harder than others. There are those times where it feels like you just have multiple bad days in a row and every morning you think things will go better but as the hours pass, you seem to be reliving the day before.
We've had our share of disappointments and difficulties in the last few weeks. House hunting is NOT for the faint of heart, especially in this market. So now we're re-evaluating our decisions. Rethinking our choices. Questioning the choices that we've made and why. Wondering how to use that information moving forward. So many unknowns.
Sometimes it feels like we're walking on a path in the dark. We choose our steps carefully because we don't know what's ahead but we have to walk if we want to get out of the darkness. Sometimes we misstep and that leads to a fall and then we sit there for a moment, wondering if we should just wait the darkness out. Why keep walking? Why risk falling?
It makes sense that Paul would use the analogy of running a race for the life of a Christian. Perseverance. It's the key to all of this.
We don't know where we're going to live. God says, I know. That's enough. Persevere.
We don't know if Brian should stay at this job. God says, I have him here. That's enough. Persevere.
I don't know how to encourage my husband enough. Teach my children enough. Keep my home enough. God says, I have filled you with the Holy Spirit, who enables you. That's enough. Persevere.
Every time the doubts creep in, I have these reminders in my head. Sometimes it feels like I'm screaming at myself. Why haven't I learned? Why do I still need the reminders?
We're going to be studying Deuteronomy in our women's group in the fall so I've started reading it. And right there in the first few chapters, Moses reminds the Israelites that they continually disobeyed God and questioned Him, even though He had continually taken care of them and guided them.
So when those doubts creep in about life, I remember the blessings.
God has given us a place to live, right now.
He has given a job to Brian that allows him to have time with the girls and I.
We have clothes. Food. Water. A wonderful church. New friends.
We have a healthy (almost 4) year old who is the sweetest little helper and a loving big sister (most of the time).
We have a healthy (almost 2) year old who is spunky, silly, loving, and looks up to and loves her big sister (most of the time).
And we have a healthy 20 week old baby girl #3 who is growing and kicking and reminding me what a precious gift children are.
So I meet those doubts with reminders of God's faithfulness, asking Him for wisdom and guidance, and then, I persevere.