Monday, May 1, 2017

Breather

The girls are a few feet away entertaining Chloe while she sits in her Bumbo. I've just finished gathering receipts for the kitchen remodel and checking on our budget. I *hate* budgets. But such is life of a married woman/couple who wants to remain free of credit card debt. I've come a long way.

I don't have anything in particular to write about. Occasionally, I'll be thinking about something and then the thought will cross my mind "That would make a good blog post." and then just as quickly as the thought enters, it exits.

Because... life. With 3 kids. Who are growing at an alarmingly fast rate. Allie starts kindergarten this year. KINDERGARTEN. Maddie is learning ABC's and 123's. Chloe is sitting up and starting solids. Yep, I'm just a giant mess of emotions lately.

So, I took an unofficial break from my company. The spring is the slow season anyway as the weather warms up so it seemed like a good time to step away for a breather. That doesn't mean I stopped crocheting. I currently have 3 unfinished projects I'm working on (not including 2 others that I'm not working on and 1 more that I have yet to start). Such is life of anyone who knits/crochets.

We're slowly plugging away at the kitchen remodel. I learned how to drywall mud last week and it was strangely soothing to cover the grimy, greasy, multi-colored walls with fresh, clean drywall mud. We still have a few more coats of drywall to do, with sanding in between each, then prime, then paint. Then the cabinets can be built and installed and we will be a little closer to having a normal home again.

I'm pretty sure the girls have only ever known what it's like to live in an "in-between" stage. At our last house, we were remodeling for 2 years right up until we drove away in the moving truck. Literally. Brian had finished the last coat of paint on the door trim and then we loaded everyone up and drove away. Then for 6 months we lived in a teeny, tiny apartment with only half of our belongings and it. was. crammed. Now we're in a space twice the size (which isn't saying much) but everything is still chaotic.

There's holes in the ceiling (not like tiny little holes, like giant, gaping, I-can-fit-my-head-through-there-and-then-some holes), cardboard temporary flooring, the walls are patchy from where we removed termite damage and 70's mirrored squares. Our bathroom upstairs is the most done but still has a mint green, dented door which makes the white paint look a tinge green which drives me crazy. The girls' room has exposed screws from drywall that was screwed in the day before we moved in. Everything needs to be mudded, sanded, primed, then painted. We need to install lights in the bedrooms, close all the giant gaping holes in the walls and ceilings, install cabinets in the laundry room, and then there's a whole long boring list of little things that need to be done.

I'm thankful that we have a house. I'm excited for when it's a home. Moving to Oceanside was the scariest thing we have ever done but we have been so incredibly blessed here. But living in the midst of the chaos can be challenging. People keep commending me for tiling, drywalling, etc. The truth is, I push Brian to let me help because I want to have my home. I want to cook in my kitchen. I want to do dishes without a toilet blocking my way. I want to walk through my kitchen and not track concrete dust through the rest of the house. I want to enjoy a weekend at the beach instead of checking things off our to-do list. I want the girls to be able to play without worrying they'll pick up a driver and drill a screw into someone's head or throw their toys in the many gaping holes in our walls.

This is the hard part. This is the part where we have to persevere through the remodel. I know there will be a good part. Where we'll look back at this and marvel at how terrible the house used to look. That's what's keeping me going. That and okay fine there's a little part of me that secretly really enjoys this. Except the painting.