Wednesday, April 10, 2013

What it means to have a baby

  • ... that the cliches are true... Your life will now revolve around a little one.
  • ... that you will have this baby attached to you 24/7 and long for a break but as soon as the baby is asleep or being watched by dad so you can run errands, you'll miss her.
  • ... that when your husband decides to take you to see the Hobbit in theaters for your birthday, you'll decide to bring the baby because "she'll sleep the whole time." And then she won't sleep the whole time. Even worse, she'll choose a silent scene in the movie when you can hear a pin drop to pass some gas. And then you and your husband will die laughing. 
  • ... that when you shop for clothes, you'd rather buy something for your baby girl than something for yourself. Never thought that day would come. 
  • ... that you know all the jingles on her toy smart phone, play laptop, and Baby Mozart DVD. Then you will marvel at the kinds of toys her children will have. Then you think someday she'll be like "Mom, you guys had a touch phone? It didn't even connect to your mind thoughts? Oh my gosh that is so lame."
  • ... that life - shopping, showers, dinners, events - must be planned around the baby's nap schedule. And that you quiver with fear at the thought of what will happen if you sway from that schedule. ALWAYS STICK TO THE SCHEDULE. 
  • ... that all your stories will now be about your baby, what they did that day, what they ate, how they slept, how horrendous their poops were, etc. You totally become one of those parents that can't shut up about their baby and you don't even care. You have 1,543 photos on your iPhone to prove it. "Here let me show you a million pictures of the best looking baby in the world!"
  • ... you will inevitably get advice from random strangers on how to raise your child.
  • ... your life will change dramatically and you will never, ever be the same. Not to like freak you out or anything...