Friday, November 20, 2015

Mom Life

Moms. We really do have the hardest job. The hardest, most important job. I'm sitting here in a clean house while both kids sleep and just for a moment, it doesn't feel hard. It feels easy, simple, almost relaxing. But to get here? I missed out on 3 hours of sleep last night. I have to force myself to clean up every night because I know that if I let the mess sit, it will somehow triple in size while we sleep. 

And it wasn't always peace and quiet. Last night, I'm pretty sure the girls were screaming and/or crying simultaneously for 2 hours straight. They didn't want to eat dinner. They didn't want to clean up their toys. They didn't want to share. They didn't want Brian and I to have a conversation. They didn't want to put away their clothes. No pajamas. No bedtime. Need water. Need that one stuffed animal that I can't find anywhere. We didn't sing the right song. On and on. Sometimes I want to escape outside just to be able to hear. Silence. Nothing. My own thoughts. If there are any. 

I don't know that what I've eaten today counts as meals, except for dinner. Is it just me or does everyone buy a roasted chicken for dinner and then somehow snack on half of it throughout the day? Sometimes I feel like this...

... aka, the Mom Diet. 
I've heard that the transition to 3 kids is the hardest. Like maybe because they outnumber you? I'm outnumbered at home during the day as it is but then at least I can tag team Brian when he gets home. But to be outnumbered all the time. And they're so young. And needy. I've never even been able to keep a plant alive but somehow I've managed to keep 2 children alive and thriving. But what happens when you add a third? I mean, someone's gonna get left out. I'll be making food and I'm pretty sure one of us is not gonna get to eat. Most of the time it'll probably be me. 

Is this encouraging you? Probably not. But at least I know I'm exactly where God wants me to be. I fail. I screw up. I'm not perfect. I don't have it all together. But at least I'm trying. I'm pretty sure that's what counts the most. The Lord knows I will fail but He gives me grace and strength to try again. He forgives me when I fall, when I'm angry, impatient, lazy. His mercies are new each morning and that's exactly what I need. 

That and lots of cookie dough. I kid, I kid. *blank stare*