I smell like a bonfire. But for the people who really know my husband, this comes as no surprise.
We have a neighborhood clean-up 3 times a year where you can set out a huge pile of trash (usually stuff that doesn't fit in your trash can) and the city comes by and picks it up. There's been a pile of wood sitting on the side of the house ever since we moved in (meaning it's probably mean there upwards of a few years).
Brian and his brother were tossing it in the wheelbarrow to take it out to the front when they discovered a whole colony of termites.
Brian: "Well I know how to deal with this..." (walks away)
Me: "5 bucks says he's getting something that has to do with fire."
Brian's brother: "Yep."
Brian: (walks out a few minutes later with a jug of gasoline, a torch, and a fire extinguisher because, you know, safety first) "What? You didn't really think I'd pass up an opportunity for this, did you?"
Me: *sigh... (pulls out phone to take pictures) "Well I have to have some photographic evidence to show your parents what you two are up to."
So now I smell like a bonfire (and let's just say no plank of wood was left unburnt). But hey, we just saved a few thousand dollars in termite extermination fees... so, win-win-win.