Thursday, September 10, 2015

Maddie's Birth Story

I just realized over a year later that I never wrote down how Maddie came into this world so here goes. Probably because when Allie was born I had nothing to do for the many hours she would sleep during the day. With Maddie though, hahahahaha..... Yeah. Imagine the next few kids. They'll be lucky to get a post on Instagram amiright?

My due date was June 16th but it came and went without any sign of her being born on time. A week went by and still nothing. Everyone was anxious for this baby to come except me. I felt like I was just enjoying those last few days of pregnancy. Surprisingly my dad was the most antsy and I got multiple texts and phone calls from him every day asking if she was here yet. 

Almost 2 weeks had gone by and my doctor had requested that I get a full ultrasound and have her heart monitored for awhile to make sure she was doing ok in there. Of course I had to take Allie with me to the ER, and we spent 6 hours waiting for all the tests and work to be done. She was such a champ. All the nurses commented on how well behaved she was and kept her loaded up on graham crackers and water. She got to play on my phone until it died and then an intern gave her her phone to play on. The only problem was not being able to reach Brian to update him and since my phone had died, he said his mind was running wild not knowing what had happened to us. 

On Friday, June 27th they said if I didn't have the baby by Sunday, they were going to induce. My sister had planned to come in after Maddie was born to visit and help but it turned out that she arrived a few days before and was able to stay with Allie when we went to the hospital. On Saturday at 1 am, I started having contractions. Everything about Maddie's birth was similar to Allie's except accelerated. My labor with Maddie was only 4 hours from start to finish. The contractions started on so quickly and intensely that I was throwing up until I had nothing left and then it was dry heaves. I couldn't stand, let alone walk. This was around 4 am and I was only 4 cm dilated. They did an epidural and within an hour I had gone to 9 cm. I remember still feeling the contractions pretty intensely even with the epidural.

The nurse said I would probably be about 20 minutes away from pushing but as soon as she walked out I told Brian I needed to push. My water never broke but in 3 pushes, she was out. The doctor showed up just in time to catch her and sew me up. I'll spare you the knitty gritty details but at that point I was very happy to have the epidural. They put her on my chest and I couldn't believe how much love I had for her. 

It's crazy that you don't think you can love another child as much as your first but that completely changes with the second. I can't describe a mothers love. It's this fierce, protective, overwhelming desire to nurture and care for this tiny little helpless human being.

Words can't express how I feel about my daughters. My heart feels like it explodes when I see them together. They fight, sure. But they also have fun. They have their own language that they'll babble and scream back and forth when they're supposed to be going to sleep. Allie takes such good care of her little sister (most of the time). Sometimes she just aggravates her. Maddie is a little fireball though. She screams her head off to get her way with Allie (which is something I'm definitely trying to put an end to). But even at this young age, she mimics nearly everything that Allie does. If Allie climbs on the coffee table and jumps, Maddie does. If Allie is eating goldfish crackers, Maddie is. If Allie is running in circles around the kitchen screaming and laughing, Maddie is doing her best to keep up. 
I hope that they continue this relationship and someday see that sisters are built in best friends. I hope that they cheer each other on, share with, encourage, support, and comfort each other. I hope they both come to know Jesus as their Lord and Savior and that their bond of sisterhood will be strengthened by the bond they have as sisters in Christ. I hope they see that to be a woman of God means to be humble, submissive, gracious, kind, loving. 

I can't imagine life without Maddie now; it feels like she's been with us forever. But to be blessed with 2 girls has been amazing and incredible and terrifying. I'm the example they see everyday and I've had several meltdowns over the feeling of inadequacy. How can I teach them to be godly when I don't even have it figured out? Thank God for His grace in my life. If nothing else, they'll see a sinner who is in constant need of a Savior. And thank God for putting godly women in my life that can be examples to my girls. 

I've thought about starting a journal for my daughters. But then I realized, I already have. This blog holds my memories, my thoughts, my struggles and someday, they can read this and see what a weirdo their mom was. Thanks, internet, for letting me leave this legacy to my daughters.