Friday, November 30, 2012

Motherhood

You know how they have those lists like "You might be from California if...?" Well, I'm going to make one.

It's called "You might be a mom if..."

... you sway back and forth all the time regardless of what's in your arms.
... you put on a hoodie only to remember that it's been puked on but then you decide you don't care.
... you talk to your baby as if they'll respond. "Don't go anywhere Allie!"
... popcorn for breakfast becomes acceptable.
... you can't remember if you brushed your teeth today.
... you have suddenly developed serious upper arm strength from lugging a car seat back and forth.
... a "quick trip to the grocery store" turns into a 3 hour tour.
... you start to hear your baby cry even when they're not crying. Especially at night.
... putting on earrings is dressing up.
... not having to cook dinner qualifies as a date night. Even if it's just a $5 pizza from Little Caesar's.
... you inevitably tell your baby "hi," "you're ok," or "I know" over and over. Like Allie's crying because she's hungry and I keep telling her "I know you're hungry" like it's going to help.
... you have some bodily fluid from your baby on you at all times.
... a burp cloth becomes part of your daily outfit.
... you now wear mom jeans because they're the only ones that you don't have to keep pulling up every time you bend over to pick up your baby.

Well, I've decided to embrace motherhood. Mom jeans and all.