Has it really been 2 weeks since I've posted? Yikes. I guess I've been a little caught up in other things and blogging has fallen on the bottom of the list of priorities.
Where have I been?
I'm not sure really.
I've spent almost all of my spare time these past few weeks studying for our women's ministry meeting at church. I'm teaching the first part before discussion groups (*gulp) but so far I've been so blessed by what I've been studying and I'm excited to share with all the women!
I've also spent a lot of time with my husband. We drove down to LA last weekend for a quick turn-around trip to see my lovely friend get married and catch a few minutes of face time with some friends.
Oh! I held a baby. A real live one. He was super squirmy. And I don't think he liked me very much but I couldn't really tell. He kept making faces like he was going to cry and then didn't cry... or maybe he was just trying to weird me out. It worked. Also it was very awkward trying to figure out exactly how to hold this baby. I decided on the football hold but a baby who's arching their back doesn't exactly work with the football hold. I gave up after a few minutes and passed him back to his parents.
I also held another baby. A bigger, older one (in an Ergo carrier, in fact, which was quite comfortable). She wasn't so squirmy but I think she was weirded out that a stranger was holding her so closely. But it's okay, her mom and I are friends so it's not like some strange lady just handed me her baby in a baby carrier. I'm just strangers with the baby because she doesn't have Facebook.
After my experiences (literally I've only held one other baby in my life before these two), I have to say I'm a little nervous. Why don't these things come with manuals? And will my baby like me? Is it going to cry when I hold it and judge me because I don't know where to put my hands to support it?
That's the #1 reason why I don't hold babies. They're SUPER judgmental. They start screaming if you hold them wrong. They start screaming if you look at them weird. They start screaming if they just generally don't like your appearance. And it makes me nervous to be holding a creature that really dislikes me so much that it feels the need to literally wail about it.
I'm hoping that this alleged motherly instinct kicks in sometime soon but right now I just feel like this baby will have to be seriously resilient if it's going to survive our parenting skills. (Note: This is the kind of mother I will be: I had NO IDEA you're not supposed to give babies honey. I suggested that to my husband as a remedy if the baby has a cough and he thought I was joking. Except that I wasn't and then he freaked out a little.)
Someone sign me up for a newborn care class because I think we're going to need all the help we can get.