Thursday, October 13, 2011

Words and things

This is just a glimpse into some daily, weird, strange and funny conversations that I find myself in.

{Setting: my husband is texting me about installing a roof in the pouring rain}
B: Yeah the rain is fun. I'm scampering around on the roof with a nail gun nailing wood near the edge. I wouldn't mind dying of carpooltunnel in a cubicle right now. Yes, I said carpooltunnel.
Me: Oh be careful... And you can die of carpal tunnel silly.
B: I know that's what I said...?
Me: Hahaha... you're so dilly.
Me: Which is like silly.
Me: With a dill whole.
B: Maybe you meant "can't" die?
Me: Oh. Hahaha I didn't even notice...

{Setting: my baby sister has just cancelled her cable to save money}
V: It's 8:40 and I'm almost ready for bed. Is this how Amish people live?
Me: Ayy V* you exaggerate...
V: I feel like I should save electricity too and walk around with candles...
Me: And take a horse and buggy to work to save gas?
V: No. At least then I could use my bike.
V: Although a horse and buggy would be less work for me.
Me: Yeah but then you'd have to feed the horse...
V: In that case I'll just ride my bike... and rope a wagon to it in case I need to transfer stuff.
Me: HAHAHAHAHA.... and don't forget your helmet and you'll need a horn to let people know they have to get out of the way.
V: I already have a loud bell. I don't have a helmet. I'll just rubber band a plastic bowl to my head.

{Setting: I've called my mom while she's walking the dogs (Rocky and Zoey) in the morning}
Me: So yeah... we were talking about Thanksgi-
M: ROCKY!!! Let her poop!!!
M: Sorry mija... what?
Me: You guys maybe driving up for Thanksgiving?
{Insert our conversation about Thanksgiving}
M: Hi Coco! Did you miss us?!?! (That's my mom saying hi to the neighbor dogs...)

{Setting: Friend is texting me from her job of watching 1st graders during their lunch time}
B: So this little first grader that has a crush on me saved me his dessert from his lunch. I'm such a fatty! I took it.
Me: B* you took a 1st graders dessert snack???
B: He saved it for me. But yeah. I'm that pathetic.
Me: Well still. Why are you seducing 1st graders into giving you their desserts??
B: Yeah. I'm a fatty. I felt that I had to admit that to someone.
Me: Join the club. I'm like the president of the fatties.
B: It was SO good though.
Me: Yeah you definitely are a fatty.
(You can read her account of the story here)

{Setting: a chat with my older sister}
S: funny story:
Me: do tell.
S: so c* and I applied for life ins. and they came to take a small medical exam to make sure we qualify
S: only he had to try to get blood twice, second time he lost the vein and was digging around and he took half of what he needed and I started to get dizzy
we went outside and he gave me a cup of water to drink, I hadn't eaten any food for 11 hours and I lost the function of my motor skills
I missed my mouth with the cup of water
I could barely see, I was breathing like I was in labor. its a horrible feeling. we have to re-schedule, he needs more blood
Me: that's not funny at all!!!! are you ok???
S: well its funny now
Me: well ok... then haha