Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Sickly

by Steph

Okay people. I'm down and out for the count.

Last minute doctor's appointment at 9.

Anti-biotics prescribed at 10.

Back to work at 11.

Meeting at 1.

Currently: wishing I was home asleep in bed. Or laying by the pool. I think doctor's appointments should be like "get out of jail free" cards. Except work is jail. And by "free" I mean "paid time off".

So. Because I'm cranky and on anti-biotics that can cause tendinitis or death, here's some things that annoy me at work:
  • When people expect me to do work before 9am. I get here at 7 in the morning - isn't that enough for you?
  • The bathroom that's 10 feet away from my desk and the pooping that happens there. Is it childish to laugh when you hear someone having an exposive, fart-filled poop? Also, don't use an entire can of air freshener. We know what you did in there. There's no covering it up by filling the air with a different foul stench.
  • When people say things like "Are you lying to me?" Thank you for the compliment. If I was lying, I'm glad you think I'd be stupid enough to admit it. But it's also nice to know that you think I'd lie about something as small and trivial as an email being sent.
  • The calls that follow the emails. "Hi, I just emailed you to say what I'm going to tell you right now over the phone. Then I'll email you to tell you what I just told you. Then I'll email you to be sure that you got the previous emails and calls. Then I'll call to see if you got the emails asking about the emails and calls." If you're so old that you don't trust technology, then do us a favor and stop using it.
  • The awful smell of whatever it is that someone cooks in the microwave EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. How can you put that in your mouth when the smell alone makes mine fill with vomit?
  • The office gossip. If you start a sentence with "I'm just curious" please be aware I will proceed to ignore everything you say. If I have a blank stare, that's your cue to walk away.
  • The radio station that plays in our office. Sometimes I get some gems from the 80's but most of the time, it's just annoying music. Or even more annoying British news station. Seriously.
  • The fatal errors on my computer. What a drama queen she is. And yes she's a "she" because she's moody and changes her mind and only does what she wants to when she wants to.
  • The fact that for 3 blissful months nothing was blocked and now that horrid Barracuda filter is keeping me from all connections to society.
I need to get out of here. Someone save me.